Personhood Bill Killed But They Missed the Real Weapon: the Penis

Virginia's Republicans are out to vilify women who dare to seek abortions. In fact, by outlawing abortions and criminalizing mothers who abort, those guys overlooked something: the men who helped create the "persons" they claim are human at the time of inception. I would go as far to say that if mothers who abort are criminals, the PENIS IS A WEAPON OF MASS DESTRUCTION for it is the penis that actively starts the process to begin with.  Without it, there'd be no need for abortions, would there? Let's face it: the real culprit is the penis. Logically then, it's the men who would need to be criminalized along with those demented mothers.

Don't men say it has a mind of its own? Doesn't it spring to action by its own volition? So if it has its own cognitive nature, shouldn't we be regulating its use?  What about rapes? Unwanted entry? A night of foolish boffery? Why should women bear the brunt of all the consequences?

I propose that next year, when Virginia Republicans re-introduce the bill, they ought to consider the "Penis License" as a complement to the "Personhood" Bill. Everyone with a penis should have a license to fire it. No more willy-nilly shootings. No explosions without permission and a permit. I say any man without a license should have his lopped off. Off with their heads, I say!