Cultural Intelligence Can Lead to Life...or Death

The New York Times calls it "cathartic rage." In response to a video made by some far-right "believers" satirizing Islam, Muslims and the prophet Muhammed that went viral on YouTube, the Arab world has erupted. The American ambassador in Libya, along with four other diplomatic workers, killed this week. Demonstrators in Gaza chanted, “Death to America and to Israel!” Palestinians clashed with Israeli security forces in Jerusalem and held protests in the West Bank. The German embassy in Khartoum, was under siege earlier today. State media in Egypt has reported more than 220 people injured in the clashes since Tuesday. The chasm between the Muslim world and everyone else is widening; the protesters, nearly deafening. There is an unmistakable scream being heard around the world. And all I keep thinking about is this: freedom indeed has its price and its own language that many who have lived without it simply do not understand. What is absolutely crystal clear is that different cultures value behaviors differently and what is an expression of free speech in one land can lead to death in another. Simply put, our cultural intelligence differs.

What is cultural intelligence? It is the way we come to understand ourselves in the context of our societies, our values and the behaviors that result.  In the United States, we value speed of intelligence, i.e. how quickly we get to the point. We hold in esteem those who can quickly understand a concept. We value free speech and that means we need to listen even when we are in great disagreement. We value honesty, forthrightness. We even value dissent. The values we  hold dear, including freedom of speech, freedom of movement, freedom to live life as we see fit, make up the foundation for our cultural intelligence and is the way we assess each other's individual intelligence. These same values are NOT the foundation for other societies, as we are witnessing now in the Arab world.

There are Imams who are calling for the US government to arrest and punish the producers of the video. Would public beatings or beheadings be the answer? Perhaps in their culturally intelligent way of thinking, yes. But to Americans who hold freedom of speech as one of the most important values we have, this is unthinkable. So how can we ever expect to lessen this chasm when we do not value the same things? Have we crossed over too far to ever bring us back?

I think there will be a time of widening before we can ever come together again. There needs to be a new language in diplomacy; one that speaks using cultural intelligence. Until everyone truly understands cultural intelligence and how that factors in, until the world understands that we all have differing points of view, there will be no end.

The Horace Mann School for Boys

I attended the Horace Mann School for Boys for my last two years of high school. Yes, it still was called a "School for Boys" as they had not yet had time to change all their collateral material prior to their admittance of girls. That all changed during the first year of co-education in 1975. 


In tomorrow's Sunday New York Times magazine, the cover story is entitled "Prep School Predators: The Horace Mann School's Secret History of Sexual Abuse". 


The story was posted online a few days ago. A lame note disclaiming any responsibility ( as these events happened in the past, prior to the present administration)  went out to all alumni and parents prior to its publication. The avalanche of stories, support, horror, sadness and other emotions that have been streaming online ever since is quite extraordinary. It has churned up so many memories, so many emotions for all of us, clearly. In fact, it points more toward the strength of the bonds most HMers have felt. A kinship. A shared community. A lifelong bond for most of us.


Sadly, not for those who were abused.

I have to say that I have always proudly "worn" my HM badge, most importantly, for its significance to me as being one of twenty girls to graduate in its first co-ed class. One of twenty girls to have been part of an "old boys'" network, with all that that meant. It has helped and even defined my life's work, often at the forefront of a lot of situations where women were very few. It helped me in innumerable ways to compete and thrive in a man's world. And a big part of this was gaining a certain "street smarts" when people came onto you or acted in ways that were uncomfortable. It's really not "new" news, is it? I think this stuff has really gone on forever.

Girls have long been subjected to the kinds of things admitted in these discussion threads.  I got those same back rubs by teachers.  During my junior or senior year, my mentor at WNEW during an internship off-campus locked me in his office and started groping me. I was shocked. I demanded he let me out…and the shame of that was so unbearable that I never went back to that TV newsroom again. No teacher at HM even questioned why I left that internship, which they knew was so important to me.

One of the best parts about HM was the access to being in a "man's world." Being taught by all these old world "eccentrics" was par for the course-- and the most energizing aspect. Sadly, some of those "eccentrics" crossed the boundary into criminal behavior. 

Stories will be coming out from those abused. And I hope that those who have kept this inside for way too long will have the benefit of being able to find peace somehow-- through discussion, through shared history, through being able to vent. Others have already begun to comment on the "sexual hotbed" environment they assume it was. It was NOT that.

For the victims, being able to vent it is really cathartic and important. For those suffering any kind of abuse today, it is so important to share in order to dispel the shame.  But to think that it doesn't go on today is unrealistic. To think this only happened "back in the day", is silly. Human nature has a dark side. It will continue. It's just important that people can share and not feel that they cannot talk about it. Shame is a killer.